When someone lashes out at you, if you know in your heart that your words or actions have not been hurtful, know that the other is projecting their own pain.  Arguing with them or defending your words and actions may well fall upon deaf ears, depending upon the thickness of the walls they have erected around their wounds.  What to do?  Erect no walls of your own.  Soften your reaction.  In fact, melt into warmth.  Feel compassion and engage not their fears, hurts, words.  Wrap them in your warmth without condoning any hurtful behaviors.  The three most healing words in your language are “I love you.”  When spoken truthfully from the heart, from soul to soul in spite of your own human wounds, they are the greatest salve known to your world.