What does it mean to surrender?  To know that you cannot control a situation and to allow yourself to be guided.  There is surrender to an enemy in a battle, and this carries a negative connotation.  And then there is surrender to a higher power, and this carries a level of trust that the ego balks at.  Why?  Because ego knows that once you do this, he is done.  Have you had enough suffering?  Do not surrender to other egos.  That would be folly.  You know what to do.  Go within or raise your eyes skyward.  Go beyond the folly of egos and give your permission to be guided.  Ask for it with all your heart, and then you can relax.  You have just won the battle after all.