Where do I go from here?  Not backwards.  You cannot help but seek something forward.  It is the nature of the soul to improve.  This does not mean a relentless, stressful seeking of success.  Relax.  Evolution comes quite naturally, without even trying, as a result of this natural Universal urge.  If every human would cooperate and flow, you would all see this quite clearly, but because so many have not yet awakened to the fat that all is one consciousness, you enjoy competition that goes beyond normal growth.  So compete if you will.  It does bring out the best, but when it brings out the worst, surrender.  Take a step back, if only to observe, and then smile.  Growth is happening.  Ultimately, it can be no other way.