Do you steel yourself at times in advance of a visit from someone with whom you have a history?  This is a mistake.  People change, and we are not necessarily speaking of the one coming to visit.  You are growing spiritually.  You are changing daily, becoming more loving, more accepting, more understanding, more patient, better able to take a higher perspective.  Steeling yourself and expecting the same dynamic between you and the other says in advance that you expect to go backward in your learning and behavior.  Perhaps the other has also changed.  Perhaps not, but if you are truly growing, then expect a change in the dynamic during the visit.  Programming is quite easy to overcome once you realize that roles are not static, but indeed, dynamic.