You, of yourself, can do nothing. 
You think you are autonomous, but you are not.  You can try to hold your breath, and what happens?  Aha! 
The body has a Mind of its own, does it not?  Where do you think that Mind comes from?  You may want to continue breathing, but if
the Mind that breathes you says, “Enough,” then you will move on to another
experience.  So why do you struggle to
have autonomy over your life? 
Relax.  Surrender, even, and allow
yourself to be breathed.  The greater
part of you has been doing a fairly good job of breathing you your whole life. 

If your life is not going as you wish, perhaps there is a little
struggle going on.  Go into the silence
and ask how you might have an easier go of it. 
There, when you are calm and the breaths come easily, you will find your
answers.  Once back out in what you
perceive as reality, when the breaths are constricted, you will have your
indicators of how well you are listening.