Defensiveness
does not become you.  It is the ego that
must defend itself constantly to survive. 
When you find yourself explaining your actions even though the other is
not listening, it is not the true Self you are defending, but the ego.  Catch yourself, hear your words, recognize
ego at work, and stop.  Take a deep
breath, perhaps two.  Focus on the third
and fourth chakras and re-open them, for they surely will be out of balance if
ego has been at work.  Then, remember who
you are.  When this knowingness is strong
enough, it overcomes ego with love, and then you can simply send love to that
one to who you were pleading your case without being heard.  It was never about you anyway, but the other’s
struggle with ego.  In sending love, you
are helping to tame their beast and awaken the spirit within.