No one can ever understand exactly what you are going through, what you are thinking, or where you have been.  They can only meet you where you are based on what they are going through, and where they have been.  If the two of you can meet in the heart, so much the better, but do not blame them for not meeting your expectations.  They are in your life for a reason.  Love them for that.  Love yourself for being who you are and where you are right now.  This is all you can ask.