There are times you must take actions or make decisions that you would rather not.  This is part of the human predicament.  At times your actions must cause pain, such as in the case of the healer who must give a shot or make a cut.  Beyond the obvious physical examples, threre are times you must say no when the other wishes to hear yes.  You cannot always have it your way.  In these cases, what is most important is your motive.  Did you mean to harm or to help?  You know it was the latter.  If you had no choice and your motive was pure, then release yourself from the ongoing self-recriminations.  You did your best from a place of love.  You know this as a soul, now let it seep into your human consciousness and forgive yourself for ever thinking you were anything less than Love in a human body.